What now?

It’s been a long time since I blogged, and I’m wondering what has happened in the pause. Once, so consumed with coping day-to-day with constant thoughts of your absence, dear Erin, and now what has happened? I’ve been living on beyond our life together-That’s what’s happened.

Sure, there are seasons that flood my senses and memories of you-that stir my emotions to my core. I am blessed now to know a student in Longwood LIFE who is not at all like you, but whom I understand completely BECAUSE of you. When she looks directly into my eyes in hopes to communicate where she is inside of herself-I get it- because I knew you. I think of you in all the seasons and celebrations-birthdays, beach trips, Halloween, Christmas-did I say birthdays? Anything family.

When I see your brothers and in all of my everyday life with Diana, I see glimpses of how we are changed and more human-more loving-because of your influence. We were blindsided so often in your lifetime. Anyone who knew you became a part of your network-you were always complicated-but we all fell into your humor and learned to see the world through your eyes.

Now, we have moved forward in life-new jobs, marriages, new babies who will never have known you in life but who will come to know about you from our stories and explanations of the impact of YOU in our lives and who will alongside us learn to know your legacy and how our family is different-changed-better-because of our struggles, joys, and laughter with you in our lives.

No, Miss Erin, we will never be the same or ever forget the impact of you-your name-your unique sayings and phrases (“hushabye your tootsie mouth!”). Your dismissive side glances. Sometimes, we talk to each other in your “language” and laugh. We do it perfectly and with your inflection. Oh, how we cherished our life with you, Erin, and how we also struggled to keep you in sync and connected to us all.

We-all Feathers-would say we are a different breed because of knowing you. You touched our typical family and turned us upside down, and now-we are all changed-in ways we are only beginning to understand-because of you. Thanks for blessing our lives and bringing us even closer in life.

Was just thinking about you today. It was so good to feel you close to my heart. Thanks for that.❤️