In Longwood LIFE today, we talked about taking our students to a Wednesday night basketball game on November 12th…Longwood against JMU. One of our students is an avid JMU fan, and we talked during the day about how much fun it would be to connect his love of JMU to Longwood and how much fun it would be to go to a basketball game after our class day. And, I thought throughout the day, “Thst’s your birthday, Erin.”
So, tonight I am thinking about your birthday, Erin. I haven’t celebrated it with you for 8 years. You would be 27 this November 12th. I have learned over the years to invest my heart and soul in meaningful work and relationships where I feel more of a connection to people who either have a heart that has been touched by someone like you-someone who was challenging and also full of unconditional love-someone who required a commitment from our whole family to care for you and were impacted, each in our own way, from knowing you as we uniquely related to you and carry your memory and influence in our hearts.
I call your brothers, Erin, on their birthdays and tell them about the day they were born. I am thinking tonight about the day you were born. I remember Jack, my father -in-law coming in the front door right as I was having a contraction to take Kyle to school. He chuckled, and I looked at him like, “Don’t you dare laugh at me.” We drove by Fluvanna Middle School where I taught 8th grade English. Students were unloading. I didn’t know Erin would have Down syndrome, but I had a feeling in my heart something would be different this time. I remember thinking as. we drove by the school that we had enough love in our family to handle it.
When Erin arrived within a few hours after we arrived at Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville, I noticed she had a significant tongue thrust, something different from my other babies, but she also looked like our other babies. Dr. Marotta came back in the room and took my hand and said he thought Erin had Down syndrome. Rob went to the Mudhouse Coffee Shop that afternoon on the Downtown Mall to research Down syndrome on their computer. He came back with lots of information about characteristics and prognoses for children with Down syndrome. Dr. Marotta came back to my room, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me, “Just be her mother.” That was all I needed to know in those early days.
Later on, Erin, when you were a year old, I took a special education course on collaboration to recertify my teaching license. I was an elementary/middle school general educator of 17 years. I got VHS lecture tapes in the mail and watched them while I painted my middle and high school sons’ bedrooms one summer. I listened to lectures and painted harder as I realized what I was learning about children with disabilities was empowering. I thought about how knowledge is power.
My next step was to apply to grad school at Longwood in special education. My entrance essay was about how I needed to learn how to parent a child with a disability differently. Erin was my 4th birth child. I worked with children in general education and gifted education. I needed a new skill set to raise Erin.
You changed me, Erin…
I went to school part-time over some years. I also got an ASD certificate with extra classes. I taught in the ASD certificate program for some years as an adjunct at Longwood. I ended my career in Fluvanna County in a self-contained special education classroom and never planned to leave public school. My sweet spot was this job, and my Erin was in my classroom before she became ill. I never intended to leave that classroom.
Then came more degree pathways and a chance to come to Longwood…
I am grateful to have found a purpose and life beyond your life, Erin, that has and will sustain me in the coming years. I have always told my students that everything that had happened to them and all their life experiences poured into their future. How true that had been for my life. I take you, Erin, into my interactions with our Lifers and into my classroom teaching with preservice special education teachers in subtle and bold ways.
I’ve always believed that everything we experience in life changes us and can make us better people. You have made me better, Erin.
But, I still miss you and feel you-draw you close to my heart when I need you. Like today.
Today, I felt you in all your silliness. I heard your voice in my mind and drew you close to my heart. I take your determination with me each day, but today I felt you…and it was wonderful.
Happy early birthday.🎉 🎂❤️
Sorting it Out... 